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Hujan di pertengahan Agustus
Malam ini hujan deras. Bau tanah menguar di udara. Aku bahagia. Setelah dua atau tiga bulan panas terik dan kualitas udara di Jakarta dan Bogor berada di titik kritis, akhirnya turun hujan. Hujan sekitar 30 menit dan rasanya memuaskan dahaga. Hujan ini berkah karena pemukiman yang mengandalkan air tanah merasa kesulitan air bersih. Aku yang mengandalkan PDAM pun mengalami hal yang sama, air yang keluar dari kran di pagi sampai siang hari kecil. Aliran air kencang setelah jam 7 malam. Itu baru satu hal. Hal lain yang menjadi isu kesehatan berat adalah kualitas udara di Jabodetabek yang mengkhawatirkan. Masalah semakin kritis karena media mainstream tidak menganggap tingginya polusi udara di…
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Tidur lelap
Pada kunjungan ke Malang terakhir, aku menyadari kalau aku tidur lebih lelap ketika berada di Pandaan. Jauh lebih nyenyak dibanding tidur di Suropati, kosan, atau di tempat lain. Mungkin karena di Pandaan aku tidur bersama ibu. Meskipun hawa di Pandaan panas dan kebanyakan barang tapi terasa rumah banget. Tidak hanya dari suasana tapi juga makanannya sederhana. Aku mengikuti jadwal tidur ibu jam 9 malam dan bangun di jam 5. Kadang aku bangun jam 6 saking lelapnya. Nyaman banget kasur ibu. Aku juga senang karena ibu sudah membereskan beberapa pakaian tidak dipakai dan diberikan ke tetangga atau saudara. Tetap masih banyak barang dan pakaian tetapi perlahan berkurang. Aku juga melakukan hal…
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Words to think about
A therapist told this to her/his/they patients. Stop assuming that people are mad at you.Stop attempting to read people’s minds.Stop trying to manage the thoughts and emotions of others.Let people be in charge of themselves.If they have something to say to you, they will.And if they don’t, it’s their responsibility, not yours. Then someone sent this to me. The thing about building or having something you love (any kind: person, organization, craft, etc), is that it comes with a looming fear of losing or messing it up one day. There’s a very real upside of having nothing to lose, or being on your lowest-doing the bare minimum and yet feeling…
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No need
I don’t need another pair of shoesI don’t need another pair of sandalsI don’t need another advocacy t-shirtsBut I want them and people give them to me I don’t need another clear foldersI don’t need another pensI don’t need another tumblersBut they are keep coming at me I don’t need another bagsI don’t need another cell phonesI don’t need another yoga matsBut I want them And they are very cheap I don’t need another plushiesI don’t need another stickersI don’t need another earingsBut they are so cute Irresistible to not buy I don’t need another lipstickI don’t need another skincare productsI don’t need another powderBut I want to look insanely…
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your story
You don’t need to compare your life to mineIt will be painful to try to match to somethingThat you don’t have any control of We all have our own “achievements”Maybe the term is too big; it’s scaryYou can call it “pleasant things” It can be a moment where you don’tTry too hardAware too muchAlert too highAfraid to askFeel too anxiousHurt so deep You don’t need to be anyone you wish forBecause you may not like your past versionWho made the wish Human is not fairHumanity may be rarePeople’s expectation is absurd It is not a shame to surviveWe may never pass that phase Never compare your story to othersWe build…
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Perspective around digital security
I’d like to share my experience on digital security. Last December I bought Redmi Note 11 with 6 GB RAM and 128 GB memory. It has been long discussion with myself of whether or not get second phone. I decided to try it. If it’s not working, I can sell it. It’s a long discussion because I don’t want to add more carbon footprint. However, it’s become easier to get distracted with many e-commerce, mobile banking, and social media apps I have. Through the years, I notice my digital behavior has changed. There’s a invisible pressure to keep up and use certain trending or secure apps. In some occasions I…
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The Troubled Water
The night before JS started the e-module workshop, F-Indonesia members, including myself, gather in one bedroom. The “danger” of cramped 6 women in one cottage is they probably will not be sleeping. We haven’t seen each other for a while. So, when we meet, we share what have been bothering our heart-mind-body. At first, I tried to avoid the gathering. But the night getting late and the “meeting” didn’t seem to end soon enough. So, I joined them. I will not get into the details but share the underline issues. As a safe space, we put our values and realities side by side. Sisterhood is real and like sisters…
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Another headache
For the past three weeks, I had on and off headache. It happened because I had low blood pressure and burnout. Like last night, I tested myself and it’s all good, 100/65 but I had mild headache. So I know it’s a burnout symptoms. I also need to be careful because my low blood pressure and burnout may have some connections. Like if I am loosing sleeps, my blood pressure is low. It’s becoming hard to have good and sufficient sleeps nowadays. There were times I am talking to myself and think of resigning. I want to prioritize my mental and physical health. I am thinking of having short-time projects…
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Loose
It’s easy to become loose and lost contact with your emotions when you’re busy with something that you considered important. It’s difficult to be lost but not knowing that you’re lost. You kind of feel it but not knowing it for certain. It’s a failure but I am not fail to become human. Our journey is what made us today. I love the fact that I am aware faster when I am lost. I also keep it calm; am not panic. I know I am going somewhere. My journey sometimes doesn’t take me where I want to. Not directly. My journey is not a straight line, but not too steep…
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Thrifting
Aku mau bercerita tentang thrifting. Aku mulai melakukan thrifting ketika tinggal di Jogja tahun 2017. Istilah di sana awul-awul karena calon pembeli harus meng”awul-awul” atau mengacak-acak baju bekas untuk mencari pakaian yang cocok dan masih bagus. Harga per potong murah, 10-20 ribu. Untuk jaket yang masih bagus bisa 30 ribu. Usaha ini sempat meredup. Kemudian sekitar 2021 populer lagi sampai di tahun 2022 media dan publik membahas tentang Peraturan Menteri Perdagangan (Permendag) Nomor 40 Tahun 2022 tentang pelarangan jual-beli pakaian bekas impor. Aku membeli pakaian bekas atau thrifting di media online seperti Carousell atau datang langsung ke toko. Di Bogor ada beberapa tempat kecil-kecil seperti di Hypermart, BTM, Plaza Jembatan…