Pengalaman-Saya
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Words to think about
A therapist told this to her/his/they patients. Stop assuming that people are mad at you.Stop attempting to read people’s minds.Stop trying to manage the thoughts and emotions of others.Let people be in charge of themselves.If they have something to say to you, they will.And if they don’t, it’s their responsibility, not yours. Then someone sent this to me. The thing about building or having something you love (any kind: person, organization, craft, etc), is that it comes with a looming fear of losing or messing it up one day. There’s a very real upside of having nothing to lose, or being on your lowest-doing the bare minimum and yet feeling…
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Perspective around digital security
I’d like to share my experience on digital security. Last December I bought Redmi Note 11 with 6 GB RAM and 128 GB memory. It has been long discussion with myself of whether or not get second phone. I decided to try it. If it’s not working, I can sell it. It’s a long discussion because I don’t want to add more carbon footprint. However, it’s become easier to get distracted with many e-commerce, mobile banking, and social media apps I have. Through the years, I notice my digital behavior has changed. There’s a invisible pressure to keep up and use certain trending or secure apps. In some occasions I…
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The Troubled Water
The night before JS started the e-module workshop, F-Indonesia members, including myself, gather in one bedroom. The “danger” of cramped 6 women in one cottage is they probably will not be sleeping. We haven’t seen each other for a while. So, when we meet, we share what have been bothering our heart-mind-body. At first, I tried to avoid the gathering. But the night getting late and the “meeting” didn’t seem to end soon enough. So, I joined them. I will not get into the details but share the underline issues. As a safe space, we put our values and realities side by side. Sisterhood is real and like sisters…
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Another headache
For the past three weeks, I had on and off headache. It happened because I had low blood pressure and burnout. Like last night, I tested myself and it’s all good, 100/65 but I had mild headache. So I know it’s a burnout symptoms. I also need to be careful because my low blood pressure and burnout may have some connections. Like if I am loosing sleeps, my blood pressure is low. It’s becoming hard to have good and sufficient sleeps nowadays. There were times I am talking to myself and think of resigning. I want to prioritize my mental and physical health. I am thinking of having short-time projects…
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Thrifting
Aku mau bercerita tentang thrifting. Aku mulai melakukan thrifting ketika tinggal di Jogja tahun 2017. Istilah di sana awul-awul karena calon pembeli harus meng”awul-awul” atau mengacak-acak baju bekas untuk mencari pakaian yang cocok dan masih bagus. Harga per potong murah, 10-20 ribu. Untuk jaket yang masih bagus bisa 30 ribu. Usaha ini sempat meredup. Kemudian sekitar 2021 populer lagi sampai di tahun 2022 media dan publik membahas tentang Peraturan Menteri Perdagangan (Permendag) Nomor 40 Tahun 2022 tentang pelarangan jual-beli pakaian bekas impor. Aku membeli pakaian bekas atau thrifting di media online seperti Carousell atau datang langsung ke toko. Di Bogor ada beberapa tempat kecil-kecil seperti di Hypermart, BTM, Plaza Jembatan…
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Closing the week
I feel overwhelmed on Thursday and Friday. I was waking up late. The taxi I called didn’t come as I expected. I feel bad about myself and beat myself to it. Sometimes you are your own enemy. When I arrived at the office, I try to motivate myself. I am not fully prepared but the universe helped me out. The discussion went smooth. People appreciated what my team are doing. It inspired them. I feel very happy. There’s intensive meeting and more coming up. I need to prepare myself in term of physic and psychic. I am not a fan of logistical issue. But if the team require me to…
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Bubu is dead
Today I mourn the passing of Bubu, my beloved cat. She is a cat with special need. She was quiet, love to play, easy to pleased, has one eye that work well, can’t jump, can’t run, love petting, and has wonderful furs. Bubu has been living with me for the past one year. I didn’t vaccinate and neuter her. I just love her. I took care of her when she got sick. She’s easily got sick. She has suffered from muscle stiffness twice that she couldn’t stand up and walk properly. Her head little bit bigger than other cats. She was born with a genetic disorder. I found just two…
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One post per month
It’s harder to write lately. It’s not that I don’t have the time or energy but unwilling. I think it’s about motivation, I don’t have it. Not that I think I am healthy that I don’t need to write or make a journal. I feel little bit comfortable at where I am. So I am writing now because there’s something disturb that comfort zone. I will have a new position. I need to re-arrange my priorities. I mean previously everything is priority because I thought my position is not that clear. It is clear that I am supporting many people and positions but I am kind of wonder about my…
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I am beautiful
When I was in middle school, I had one formal photo taken for school report. I like that photo and I think to myself, “I am beautiful.” I have straight long hair over my shoulder, I wore a pair of heart-shaped gold earrings that hang from a chain. I feel so beautiful. It was my first year in middle school or 7th grade. I feel good about myself. It didn’t last long. It was a small middle school at the eastern part of Jakarta. I think it only had 4 classroom so there’s morning and afternoon class. Back then, I was part of top ten in my class. I was…
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Kucing lumpuh
Setelah kematian kucing hitam putih, aku semakin yakin kalau aku perlu memberi nama ke kucing yang sering datang ke rumah. Ini demi kepraktisan, terutama kalau mereka sakit dan aku harus membawa mereka ke klinik hewan. Contohnya Bubu. Juli tahun 2022, dia sempat lumpuh. Setelah minum obat 3-4 hari, dia pulih. Lalu dua minggu yang lalu, empat kakinya kaku dan tidak bisa berjalan. Ketika makan, air liurnya tidak bisa dikendalikan. Lehernya juga lemah sehingga sulit tegak. Bubu ini kucing belang tiga. Rescue di belakang perumahan Budi Agung. Dia meringkuk sendirian di pinggir jalan, bulunya tipis dan rontok. Sepertinya dia pasrah untuk mati. Aku sedang jalan kaki dari olahraga pagi. Aku bawa…