Closing the week

I feel overwhelmed on Thursday and Friday. I was waking up late. The taxi I called didn’t come as I expected. I feel bad about myself and beat myself to it. Sometimes you are your own enemy.

When I arrived at the office, I try to motivate myself. I am not fully prepared but the universe helped me out. The discussion went smooth. People appreciated what my team are doing. It inspired them. I feel very happy.

There’s intensive meeting and more coming up. I need to prepare myself in term of physic and psychic. I am not a fan of logistical issue. But if the team require me to take the role, I will do my best.

On Saturday, I eat too much. I feel bad again. So today I am planning to use those energy in anyway I can and on Monday I am planning to fast. I need to tell my body to get prepare for the whole 4 weeks ahead. I am looking for Eid moments, for bad and good. Because the price hike is not kidding. It’s getting difficult to meet daily needs for many. I don’t want to feel lucky. I want to do something to ease the burden of social problem and injustice.

Last week I just found out that my almamater had one additional teacher. I am happy that they’re able to get one. For more than one year, I tried to fill the supporting documents. The problem came with the contract because it’s not equal. I asked the campus to revised the contract otherwise I won’t sign. So I didn’t continue the administration process to become a teacher. I need to protect myself because I have coming out to certain circle and I have found my voice through my body. I don’t want to feel afraid and censored myself to meet the social standard.

In a way I feel proud to stand up. I am not playing easy, I won’t be.